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Feeling each others’ pain then can make matters increasingly difficult for everyone.The examples below all come from a specific case I have been working with as a therapist. Being depressed and having depression are very different. Do not suggest that it's because I "don't exercise enough," or "don't think positively," or "don't drink green juice," or whatever the hell you think might be the cause of my depression. If I'm in a bad place, for instance, my energy levels and sex drive will be low. Not only does it mean I have the energy to do it, but that boost of seratonin and oxytocin will put me in an even better one.7. And being on said medication doesn't mean I'm throwing-mystery-meat-at-the-wall, giving-the-State-of-the-Union-Address-to-a-chair "crazy." 7 out of 10 Americans take prescription drugs, and I am one of them, and let's all juuuust chilllllll. It also doesn't mean I'm "numb." I'm sorry, is Zach Braff a medical professional or an authority on anything at all besides maybe getting away with rich-person Kickstarting his shitty indie movies? Depression isn't ~**~r Om An Ti C~*~*~* or glamorous or an indicator of True Artistic Genius the way some (dumb) movies and/or books will suggest it is. not cleaning your apartment for a month, not doing laundry for two, never washing my hair until bats start nesting in it, and crying a lot.11.Specifically, the difference between "My boss yelled at me at work today, ugh" and "My brain is an imbalanced chemical cocktail poorly mixed by a bartender-in-training."2. A goddamn spiritual pep talk about why a legit mental condition I have is basically my fault because I don't bow and murmur "Namaste" to the mouse that lives under my fridge in the winter every night before bed is not gonna get you laid. You have one (1) free pass to make that mistake early in our relationship, but that's it. In the winter, for instance, there will be very little sex unless you're cool with me just lying in the fetal position and doing it in the harsh glow of a therapy lamp. I can't always explain why I feel how I feel, so talking through the feelings like a normal couple might is sometimes twice as frustrating. If I am trying various medications, I might seem weird for a couple weeks, but it's just a phase until I find the right one. If you stick with me through the low points, I'll be the best and most loyal girlfriend you've ever had. I'll be like the golden retriever of girlfriends.14.And as anyone with mental illness knows, coping with it can be a tiring and sometimes lifelong task.

About 18 million Americans suffer from depression and another 20 million worldwide use dating websites each month, according to Online Dating Magazine.

At the same time, my heart goes out as well to those who live with someone who is depressed. Contagious depression though is clearly problematic. And a double depression in turn can lead to marriage problems.

For a spouse or children of someone who is depressed, life can become dark indeed.

It was a steep learning curve to figure out how to navigate our mental illness how to be good to each other. However, when depression gets added into the mix, things become even more difficult. We tried to support each other, but it was difficult when we couldn’t even get ourselves out of bed.

Many people have written about what to do (and what not to do) when a loved one has depression.

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